Last week, Chiggy and I decided to be players in the game of thrones(confused side eyes). I was to stop over at her house, pick her up,then we set out to Montelloz for a quick breakfast. I took my time getting dressed cos I know Chiggy never leaves her house without having a cup of smoothie as she claims to be on a fruit diet.*(still, she never fails to make a stopover at coldstone to get some ice cream).*Yinmuing&Rolling my eyes at Chiggy* So much for diet.
And this brings me to diet cheaters.I have a boss who eats grass and weed all in the name of trying to watch her weight even though she is painfully thin. I once offered her a cup of ice cream thinking she would simply say"No thanks,I'm cutting down on my sugar intake." woosai!!! she woofed down my large cup of cold-stone ice cream without offering me any and even had the effrontery to ask if I forgot to order pizza.(whor da f--k) who does that? I smiled at her but silently murdered her in my heart.There goes another guy that claims he doesn't eat Buka food but will help himself to a serving of same Buka food from other people's order.After my experiences,I'm of the conclusion that the selfish and greedy people in my office simply use diet as a decoy to eat other people's food and enjoy theirs ALONE! smh.
Back to the matter.When I got to Chiggy's house, I saw two hefty looking guys with massive tattoos painfully inscribed on their arms; standing like bodyguards in front of her gate.My first instinct was to drive past her house and call her to inform her immediately of their presence but my phone was ringing as I pulled it out of my bag. Alas! it was Chiggy. I frantically told her some bad looking guys were at her gate that she shouldn't come out just yet as they could be robbers but Chiggy laughed hard after calling me a bush girl that those mean looking guys are USA returnees and she intends shelving our outing for a date with one of them. huh! my mouth hung open while I held on firmly to the steering." you must be kidding me Chiggy,why?So of all the guys here in Naija, dying to have you as their girlfriend; you had to import James Bond and his body guard, The Rock for a date?(as we were both used to nick naming). I could feel her giving me the daggers but I was too upset to give a care. And to say I was disappointed will be putting it mildly. "Where did you even meet these Ajalas' feeling funky?I asked but she ignored me."Anyway,I'm coming inside now."I quickly parked my car far from her house for security reasons(me forming SSS)and walked the rest of the distance to her gate.The mean looking guys saw me and tried to engage me in a brief introduction as it seemed Chiggy had informed them I was on my way to pick her up.but I wasn't in the least interested as their accent (Yomen,Init,Yunoworamsein,agana)seemed forced, and to imagine they were about to spoil my fun day?*hell to da NO!
I got in to meet my friend all dressed up like a doll."Hey bush girl, she joked."guess you have seen my boo? I looked at her as though she had gone totally nuts.Boo since when? "Chiggy, you must be high on pepper fruit" I chided. but my friend seemed in love and wouldn't pay me any heed.
Needless to say; Chiggy left me behind when I refused to tag along cos I envisaged a boring time out with James Bond and The Rock.
Well, that was last week.Today is turn up all the way for Chiggy.But don't worry yunoworamsein? Agana give you guys all the juicy gist next week.Until then,cheers.Yomen!!!!!.
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